Maternity Leave

I went to the doc on Friday morning. He said I looked tired.

Then he said he didn't want me on the train anymore.

I told him I was due to work for another week. He said he didn't think it was a good idea. Thought I could easily go into labor on the train and wanted me close to home.

I had such mixed feelings. So much has been left undone. The girl who's filling in for me has been on vacation this past week, so I wasn't going to have a chance to get her caught up on things. Plus, my boss is going to Europe tomorrow for nearly the whole week.

I told the doctor that I want what's best for Maggie, and I'll be happy to move my leave up another week, but I really needed to go in Friday afternoon. He said that would be fine, but that should be it. By the way, she HAS RETURNED TO BIRTH POSITION!!! GO MAGGIE GO MAGGIE. Her heartrate is great and things look good. I go back on Tuesday.

Man oh man. I worked my ass off. Sent out an email to most of the company that the leave had been moved up and was hit with so many messages back. Such great people. Then there were the people I thought cared about me, but they never responded. Fuck 'em.

I had a huge trip to plan and organize. I had a mess of expenses to clean up and process. Music needed to be sent via MP3 to producers and managers for approval. I had to work on a manual for my fill-in, which I thought I'd have the whole week next week to do. I had to approve a zillion timesheets and let HR know what the situation was now.

Somehow I got it done, or most of it anyway. My boss wasn't happy about the news, but of course he was very cool about it. I know it's about the worst time for me to be out, but we both get it - it's not up to us! And being a father is his real favorite thing in life, which is very cool.

I worked just a little late, and then came home. I've been very bitchy. Very swollen. Very tired. I think I'm having a conflicting issue of not being ready to be away from my job (I hate leaving things incomplete) and being thrilled that I won't have to take that train again until I return to the job. Whew. Just thinking about that makes me feel so much easier.

Today we went shopping for Maggie's bureau/changer and found a beautiful piece and purchased it!! Of course, it then did not fit in the car, so we have two weeks to find someone with a truck so we can bring it home for her. The Italian is at this moment purchasing a glider chair/ottoman for nursing. We picked it out together. I guess we'll rent a truck and get everything together if we don't find someone to give us a hand!

I had weird little sparkly pains in my belly today. Nothing serious, but I was glad when they went away. Sleep is becoming something different now - I seem to be up once an hour or once every two hours to pee. Sometimes I just wake up. It's those times I really really get hit with how much I miss Jane and Bill. My defenses aren't up, and I wake up and look for her to make sure I don't step on her. Oh it hurts. The Italian picked up their ashes yesterday. It's killing me.

Oh, remember I told you about Cosmo, the cat? Well, I called the shelter and told them I was very interested, but still had not had the baby. I wanted to know if he had been adopted yet, or if he was still there. They called me back and told me that he had in fact been adopted last week. I was very happy, but a little sad too. The most important thing is that he's not stuck in a cage anymore, and I'm sure he got good parents.

Back to the drawing board. I guess I'll eventually find a dog who wants to be part of our lives. I hope it's pretty soon. I miss having an animal friend so much that I can't put it into words.

Okay. Talk to you later!