This is the worst week of my life.

Bill died today. My 20 year old cat looked at me last night with such sadness, and stiffness. I held him and told him I wouldn't let him suffer, that it was going to be okay. It's like he knew Janey was gone for good, and decided that he wanted to go too. At least Bill was very old, and not in great health.

This morning I gave him a nice big dish of yogurt, and he ate nearly all of it. It was the only pleasure he had left I think. Up until yesterday, he would walk around the house and meow and want to be held. Yesterday when I came home from work, he held his head like his neck hurt and couldn't walk without stumbling.

I put him into his crate after I kissed him goodbye and thanked him for being my friend for 20 years. I told him he'd be alright, and to say hello to all my kitties that I've lost in the past, and especially to Jane and Elvis. I had to come into work today, and here I am. Marcellino was left to take him to the doctor. The doctor said we chose the right time, and ended Bill's pain.

I don't know how we'll recover from this. I really don't.