Jane. My heart.

Marcellino brought Jane in to the vet's office today for her x-ray. I was sure they wouldn't find anything. I should have known better.

She has a huge tumor. It's in a bad place. The doctor doesn't know if he can remove it without...well, basically killing her. If it stays where it is, she'll rupture it at some point, and die. He wanted to consult with other surgeons, see what they had to say before considering surgery.

She's 15. She's my buddy. I love her more than I can tell you. You hear about unconditional love, but let me tell you something, the only beings capable of that kind of love are animals, babies and perhaps some Buddhist monks. When Marcellino called me with the news, my heart sank. We discussed it. What do you do? She acts like a three year old dog. She LOVES to eat, pick on Bill (the cat), beg for treats, walk around our neighborhood with her dad (Marcellino). She lives for summer weekends when we go to my sister's and she hangs out with her cousin Tara, a Cairn. She gets to lay around outside all day, go swimming and eat barbecue. Not bad for a Coney Island beach puppy I found in the projects and who, I was told, wouldn't make it through her first night. She's also survived cancer, a serious uterine infection and mange.

I called Dr. Hejdu after talking with Marcellino and then my sister. I told him that I wasn't particularly interested in what any other surgeon had to say. I want him to try to remove the tumor. And if he can't, and if she dies, then that's okay. But I won't wait around for something horrible inside her to rupture and kill her. She's so much to us, and I can't let her walk around like a ticking timebomb.

He agreed 100% and was really happy that we didn't even have to think about it. He feels that aside from this awful thing, she's in excellent shape and will recover perfectly (if this thing comes out in one piece, God willing).

Please, if you do anything like pray, or meditate, or light candles, or do magic, think of my Jane. She's the coolest mutt on the East Coast. And I want her to know the baby.

Talk to you soon.