Yesterday was my third wedding anniversary.

It was so great. I’m sure we don’t spend our anniversaries like any other couples who don’t have children yet.

We went to a petting zoo. We planned it too! We went to a petting zoo on Long Island where it’s mainly rescued animals. I love it there. I know I shouldn’t. But I do! For me, there’s not much more fun than bottle feeding baby pigs, okay? Oh my god, how I love these little creatures. There were newborn goats and sheep there. We were playing with ponies and miniature horses. They have a few monkeys there too, one with a baby that was SO cute!

After that, we headed home and picked up Jane, the dog. She seemed oddly out of it, not having a good time at all. We took her to White Castle (which I was having an insane craving for, and which Marcellino hasn’t experienced yet) and when we were in the drive-through line, Jane perked up. We ordered burgers and fed her some, and that’s when it hit me, she thought she was either going to the vet or for another bath! She was SO HAPPY!! She has a new collapsible bowl and we gave her fresh, cold Evian and she inhaled it. This dog is a water snob!

Later on, we went home and watched Narnia, which I really didn’t like. It was creative and beautiful, but it was SO violent and SO Christian. Plus, the “White Witch” thing really pisses me off – the female is the evil one? And why is she a witch?? I absolutely hate seeing animals hurt, and I’m sorry, I realize these are puppets, but it hurts me to see it. And the battle scenes are SICK!! I’m sure really young kids went to see this, and I really think it’s overwhelming. But then again, I was scarred by Bambi when I was little. I swear, I think that’s where this all began for me!

Speaking of deer, we drove out to the beach this weekend, and saw two beautiful deer on the sides of the road. We stopped and took some pictures. I hope they come out! Damn it I need a digital camera!!

Our Easter was so nice. It was my husband, my sister and I. We had Italian food and really kind of spent the day laughing. I couldn’t have asked for anything more. My sister made us each a little Easter basket!

On Friday night we rented “Fun With Dick & Jane”. I thought it was very good. I think I liked the original, but this was really done well and I like both Leoni and Carrey (who is really handsome in person, by the way!). I recommend it. We also checked out this documentary called “Cowboy Del Amor” about this old cowboy who hates American women who are going through “the change” and how we’re all so damn demanding. So he fixes up these intensely unattractive guys with Mexican women for marriage. Creepy. Meanwhile, the cowboy had an American wife, then a Mexican wife, and he’s been divorced twice! Hello??

There are crazy sirens downstairs. It sounds like something is happening right in front of my building. I hope we’re safe. You never really know anymore.

I’m having some weird pregnancy stuff. I am seeing dark spots in front of my eyes. That seems to be getting a little more prevalent. I also have this weird line of things on my skin popping out. You’d never notice them – they blend right in with my skin on the back of my neck, but I feel them. It feels like a big wrinkle to me. My husband had to use a flashlight to see them, but he finally did. Very strange.

Oh – I had a whole story to tell you about my crazy neighbor. I typed it in and when I went to post it, it vanished.

You remember her, right? We call her The Unabomber. Well, last week my husband and I noticed that there’s always this nice black car parked next to Lucia (our car) every night in the parking lot of the Laundromat. We don’t care. What difference, you know? We just noticed it and made a comment like, I wonder if that car belongs to the girl who lives across the lot from us. Nice girl, probably around 18. Last Friday at around midnight, we hear the Unabomber screaming and cursing at someone in the lot. So we ran to the window to see what was going on. It was a boy who was in the black car, and she was telling him that he couldn’t park there. She was cursing at him like he just ran over an animal or something. I heard him say something about our car, and she said “well you don’t live here, you fucking asshole”. (Oh my god, how do you talk to a KID that way???) So he says whatever, I’m going, and he pulls out. Me and Marcellino look at each other like “What??” I mean, is she the cop of the parking lot?? It’s a Laundromat parking lot!!! The Laundromat is closed at night, what’s the problem??

The next night, we were headed out to meet my sister at Johnny Rockets for dinner. When we got downstairs, we see that there are around 17 people in the lot. And one gigantic tow truck. We are blocked from leaving by this truck and Ralph (who I love) is standing there, by our car. He tells us that the Unabomber saw that kid parked there in the lot, and called the tow truck.

Here’s the exchange:

Ralph: That crazy bitch called a tow truck on this kid’s car.

Me: Are you sure?

Ralph: Yes. We just called your landlord to see if he did it. He said no! He said he told the kid to feel free to park here, so long as the store is closed.

Me: Oh my god.

Ralph: She won’t come out of her apartment. We’ve been trying to get her to come downstairs, but she won’t. She’s sitting there, watching this from her window.

Me: Is the tow guy leaving?

Ralph: Yeah. The guy was really cool. Oh, hey, do you guys know Grace? (Grace is the girl who lives across from us who we see, but have never talked to).

Me: No. Hey Grace.

Grace: Hey! Can you believe this psycho? She acts like she owns this building! And my dad owns our building! She left him a half hour long rambling message at one in the morning last night!

Me: Why?

Grace: Because this is my boyfriend’s car. My dad is so pissed!

Me: Do I know your dad?

Grace tells me who her dad is. He is OUR ACCOUNTANT!!! We love him!!

The tow truck is still sitting there, and the guy is preparing to leave.

Just then, The Unabomber walks up with her two dogs. She does not see the mob of angry people waiting for her - they are on the other side of the lot. All she sees is us, Ralph, Grace and Grace’s boyfriend.

Grace’s Boyfriend: Too bad, you’re little trick didn’t work, you twisted nutcase!

Unabomber: You fucking asshole!! Shut the fuck up!!

The truck backs out and the mob descends on her. She runs up the stairs as they’re all screaming at her. She’s terrified and so are her poor dogs. (We didn’t see her for days afterwards.)

Ralph’s mother comes out and starts to SCREAM at her/her apartment. It turns out someone put a beer bottle through her car's side window. She thinks it’s the Unabomber. I don’t. I think it’s some jerk who was drunk. But this woman has spewed so much venom in our little neighborhood that anything that happens will be blamed on her. I’ve never seen this lady angry, let alone enraged. The kids are yelling and cursing, pulling down all the signs the Unabomber has put up. There were “No Parking” signs posted against the fence yards away from where she parks her 2 cars. She put these up, not my landlords. Apparently, she tried to bully the landlord’s son into moving HIS car out of her way one day last week, and his response (bless his heart) was that she was welcome to move out at any time. She makes people move their cars, and then you discover that she’s going no where!

I’m praying that she decides to move, especially now that she’s created an unsafe living situation for herself and for her dogs (and maybe for us too). That’s who I really worry about, Those poor dogs. Even though they’re starting to be kind of nasty - they growled at Jane when we took her out for her post – White Castle walk. It was like….ewwwww. Scary.

So she continues to call Child Protective Services on people in the neighborhood, and now the people are saying they’re going to call the ASPCA and Humane Society on her for keeping 2 medium sized dogs in a teeny tiny apartment. She DOES walk them constantly. It seems like they walk every other hour or so, and I don’t see how that constitutes cruelty. It’s more living in a tiny space with SO MUCH negativity that would get to them. But what can you do?

On Sunday (Easter) she slammed once on our wall. I guess the TV was too loud for her. It wasn’t loud at all, but we said fine, cool, whatever. Turned it down, laughed it off. I really really hope she moves out. I hope she goes and gets well someplace. I’d hate to see this continue and have something really bad happen to her, because that’s where this is headed. That night was like the scene in Frankenstein where the villagers rise up and storm the castle.

Since that night though, the neighbors have been closer than ever before, and we’ve gotten so many congratulations on the upcoming birth, and have been offered discounts from various stores where people work and promised baby clothes that have been in storage since their kids were babies. Beautiful! THAT’s my neighborhood. Not a mob of crazy people.

That’s more than enough out of me today!! Talk to you soon!